i have been hardcore struggling with writing this post. for the first half of january i would toss and turn at night trying to figure out what my goals are for this year. with so much in limbo it has been difficult to plan ahead. i would love to have a reunion with ellie and ben, but at the moment neither of us wants to undertake an international journey [and at this point we’re banned from one another’s countries]. maggie, katie, and i want to go on another trip together, but we are all too spread out to be able to make it work safely. in my head i think i could read as many books as i read last year, but i also know schedules are subject to change at any time.
and the more i thought about it, the more i realized there’s only one goal i want to focus all of my energies on this year: finding a new job and moving to a new city.
i guess technically that is two goals, but they tie together.
my feet have been itching for a few years now, and i have been intermittently searching for jobs since the fall of 2019. i have had a lot of fits and starts, but i’ve found that searching while being employed is both a pro and a con: i’m incredibly lucky to not have pressure on me, but at the same time not having that pressure makes it less risky and i feel like i have plenty of time. but all that has resulted from that attitude is a feeling of being stuck, and it’s time to make a change.
i want to be clear: this goal stems from my own desire for change. i have been back in memphis for 4.5 years, which is the longest i’ve lived anywhere since i left my childhood home for boarding school at the age of 15. i have a deep and abiding love for memphis, and it will always remain a home for me, but it is time for me to move on to the next adventure.
i have taken some steps to make it happen and will continue to do so. i have reached out to people i know to help me make connections. i have submitted a few cover letters. each day i spend time scouring linkedin and the ladies get paid slack group. and i joined a momentum and accountability group to keep me grounded.
it’s slow work and fast work all at the same time, and i am doing my best to take it one day at a time. to do what is within my control and hope that the rest falls into place. because come may, i’m going to need a paycheck and health insurance.
so there you have it, my goal for this year: find a job. move. get to know a new organization and a new city. if i can make that happen, then all the small goals will fall into place.
here’s to big dreams in 2021.