yesterday was election day in the states. as of 8pm cst on wednesday, we still don’t have an official call on who won the presidential race. and even though i knew we might not have a definitive answer yet, i am still overwhelmed with a lot of feelings.

mostly i am a bundle of nerves and anxiety and worry, but also i’m mad. i can’t believe there are 68 million people in this country who lived through the last four years and are fine re-electing a leader who has shown time and again that he is racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, a bigot, and someone who doesn’t believe in science or climate change. i can’t believe they have listened to what he has said about women, about lgbtq+ people, about black people, and continue to support him. i can’t believe we have this many people who are willing to set aside basic humanity.

but also. who are these people? i know i am incredibly lucky in that my family and close friends share my beliefs, but statistically i still know these people. they live in my neighborhood. they shop at my grocery store. they frequent the same bars and restaurants. do they see my immigrant parents and secretly think they shouldn’t have been allowed into the country? do they see my black friends and think they deserve less because of the color of their skin? do they see my lgbtq+ friends and believe they shouldn’t be allowed to marry the person they love? do they drive through under-resourced neighborhoods and think the people there are simply lazy without considering the hundreds of years of systemic racism, the redlining and predatory lending, the lack of funds provided to those school districts? do they claim to be “pro-life” but have no issue with 240,000 americans dying because the administration didn’t take a pandemic seriously?

these are the things i am struggling with today. how do we as a country move forward knowing that there are so many people who are so blinded, so privileged, that they willfully ignore these things simply because they are not impacted by them.

i don’t have any answers tonight, and i won’t for a long time. but i needed to get that off my chest. thank you for listening.

xx