what if.

i’m in an introspective mood today, so let’s play a round of what if. i don’t often indulge in these, because there’s not a lot of point in wondering what if — it won’t change what’s going on today. but sometimes it’s fun to daydream a little and think about how certain choices shaped who we are today.

what if i hadn’t gone to baylor?

what if i hadn’t gone on that first trip to jamaica?

what if i had gone somewhere else for undergrad?

what if i never made it back to bangalore in 2007?

what if i hadn’t gotten into the clinton school?

what if i had skipped grad school and stayed with prakash?

what if i had gotten that job in bombay?

what if i hadn’t moved back to memphis in 2016?

what if i hadn’t bought the house?

what if i had gotten that guy’s phone number?

it’s so interesting to think of the alternate lives we might have lived if not for these instances. would i be living in a different city, married and with a few kids? would i have gotten into running if not for grad school? would i have gone into medicine or law or an entirely different career path than the one i found? or would i still somehow be in a similar situation regardless of all those things? do the time and place and choices really matter? how much do we have control over, and how much happens to us? and are there different choices that i don’t even think about that actually impacted me more than the ones i have listed here?

like i said, it’s a fun little game to play sometimes.

what are your ‘what if’ questions?


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